iCarly:iMake a Decision
by Nitebreaker
Summary: Will Griffin tell Carly the unbelievable truth? If so, will she believe him? Can their relationship remain strong, in light of the literally unearthly Truth? A story of learning and becoming something other than what you once were. Sequel to iLearn A Love Song. Now complete.
1. Chapter 1

iCarly: iMake A Decision

Chapter 1: Secrets

…..

 _I don't own iCarly, of course. But I can dream, can't I?_

… _.._

" _There's no reason to believe…_

" _she'd always be there._

" _But if you don't put faith in what you believe in,_

" _it's getting you nowhere…"_

-Phil Collins, _Two Hearts_

…

 _Thunderstorms are wonderful. Humans take them for granted, or see them as troublesome or even as a source of danger, but to one such as I, they're marvelous. Especially floating, flying here amongst the clouds as the storm rages all around._

 _I can feel the electrical charges neutralizing, negative to positive, as the lightning flashes around me, shattering the air with their thunder. It's fun to ball up the plasma discharge and just roll it between my hands, for just a moment, like humans do with silly putty, which, truth be known, is where I got the inspiration. I let myself drift downward, and luxuriate in the feeling of the torrential rain flooding over me. Of course, it doesn't get me wet, but I can still feel it._

 _I drift there, just below the clouds, knowing full well I probably should be doing something a bit more productive, like my homework, but I'll have time for that. I only wish Carly could experience the storm as I do, see it in all its glory, its majesty. But humans are more often than not terrified of such majesty. It does not affect me that way, for I am accustomed to a different kind of majesty._

 _When you've witnessed the birth and death of stars, the initial, almost shy light of the first hydrogen fusion reaction, to the cataclysmic detonation that heralds the final moments of what may be the annihilation of whole galaxies, an Earthly thunderstorm, while pretty, is hardly intimidating._

 _Thinking of Carly, I wish I were with her right now, but I have some thinking to do, and her presence seems to have an…effect on my thought processes._

 _I have said I am accustomed to a different kind of majesty, and this is true. But, to one of my nature, there are very, very few things in all of Creation that can equate with the glory of the human element at its highest. That is one reason we are as involved with them as we are._

 _And to me…I have never seen anything, anyone, more beautiful than Carly Shay._

 _So, yes, I have some thinking to do. And I can't do it very well in her presence._

 _The whole matter began when my Aunt Maggie called me into the living room of our small apartment. I came and sat, with a certain amount of trepidation. I knew what she wanted to talk about. "Gryphon, we need to talk about your relationship with Carly."_

 _I winced. "Must we?"_

" _You surely don't think things can go on as they have."_

" _Well…."_

" _So you_ _do_ _think that. Gryphon, look at the matter realistically. It's one thing to have human friends. But you are becoming more than 'just good friends' with Carly. And you needn't try to obfuscate the matter; it's fairly obvious." She knows I can't lie to her._

 _Still I prevaricated. "Must I do anything? I mean, no matter how I feel about her, Carly is, after all, only human. It isn't unusual for humans to, to lose interest in a boyfriend or girlfriend after a while. So perhaps I simply need to wait this out?"_

" _Gryphon. You know better than that. Yes, that could happen. But you can't count on it, now, can you? Now. For you to do nothing…isn't that just another way of avoiding the real issue?"_

 _Of course, she's right. I want to do what's best for Carly, and if it hurts me, well, I knew that going in, as the human saying goes. Better me than her. The_ _proper_ _thing to do is…to let her go. To free her to find love, a human love, on her own. She doesn't need to be involved with a being like me._

 _An angel._

 _Humans have such a wrong idea as to what we are, or what we're like. Many of them picture us as beautiful women in long, flowing robes, with great white wings on our backs. Almost all of them see us as peaceful messengers of goodwill and divine love._

 _They couldn't be more wrong._

 _We are beings of power. Power, on a level humans cannot comprehend, is part of our elemental nature. But we are also beings drawn to the potential of living, self-aware beings, specifically to the positive aspects of said potential. We encourage that, promote it, guide those beings who exhibit it._

 _And, quite often, we must remove those whose potential is significantly harmful to others._

 _And we are not mortal. In a way, we exist outside of time and space; the passage of time nor the changes it can bring about has any effect upon us. And I know what, in part, Aunt Maggie is saying._

 _Suppose I continue my relationship with Carly. Suppose all goes well. Suppose anything you like…and what will things be like ten years from now? Twenty? Fifty? I'll still be as I am, with no difference in my basic appearance._

 _But Carly? She will age, grow old. Regardless if what I do, she will see the differences between us become more and more evident. And there is nothing I can do about that. I cannot grant her immortality._

 _And, mind you, that's a best case scenario._

 _So I have a decision to make. And I'm very afraid that decision is already made for me._

"Hey, Carly, you going out with Grif this evening?" Spencer was busy cutting up some lettuce for a salad.

Carly shrugged slightly. "I suppose. We haven't made any set plans, but you know, we probably will. If this storm ever lets up!" She went to the window and looked out, a bit fearfully. Ever since she'd been little, lightning and thunder had always frightened her. Spencer occasionally kidded her about hiding under her bedcovers when the weather was bad. The bad part was, he wasn't wrong.

She gazed out at the story raging outside, the lightning flashing and strobing, making her wince with each thunderflash. Yes, she could very easily see herself as retiring upstairs, getting in bed, and pulling the covers up over her head, trying to ignore the fury just outside the walls of their apartment building. The only reason she didn't was because she knew he'd laugh about it.

"You know, you've been seeing a lot of Griffin lately. Have…have you two, like, talked about…things?" Spencer wasn't quite sure how to ask what he wanted to ask.

Carly smiled at him. Big brother, looking out for little sister. "Nobody's engaged yet, Spence."

"Carly, I'm not trying to pry, but….well, I guess I am, sorta. Do you…maybe…see that as happening?"

His words surprised her. _Had_ she seen anything like this in her future? _Could_ she? It was true, she'd never felt this way about anyone…was this love, true love? Or just puppy love? "I…I don't know, Spence. I mean you'd know I was lying if I said we're 'just good friends,' but…I haven't given that much thought. And I don't know if he has or not."

He came over and stood by her, the storm raging outside, putting his arm around her. "Hey, I know I'm a goofball sometimes…okay, most of the time…but I, I just can't help but want to look out for you. You understand?"

She smiled, and hugged him. "Yeah, Spence. I understand."

But even as they parted, he to go upstairs, her to return to the main living room to watch the next episode of _The Walking Dead,_ she wondered to herself. For some time now, she'd sensed that Griffin had a secret, a secret that he kept from her for some reason. Before their relationship could go any further, she felt she _had_ to know what that secret was.

And she was afraid to know.

 _To be continued..._


	2. Chapter 2: Implications

iCarly: iMake A Decision

Chapter 2: Implications

 _I don't own iCarly, of course. R & R!  
_

…..

"So…have you and Carly talked about the future?" Gryphon's Aunt Maggie was sitting with him on the couch in their apartment's living room. To Earthly observers, it would seem they were watching television, but if so, it was a very strange channel, full of swirling lights and patterns that many humans would find disturbing. To the two angels, however, it was one of their means of communicating with the higher reality they called Home.

"Er, well, no, not as such, I mean…"

"Thaaaat's what I thought." She was silent for a long moment. "Gryphon, I won't tell you what to do. You're too independent for me to do so, anyway. But surely you can see the heartache it will cause, down the line."

He hung his head, his gaze on his hands, which were clasped over his knees. "I…know. Aunt Maggie, I…I think I love her. Given my—our—nature, how can I spurn the one I love?"

His aunt's look was very serious. "Gryphon, I understand how you feel. Well, I take that back. I can't know, precisely, what you're going through, emotionally, but I can see it's clouding your judgment. Breaking up with Carly…that's going to hurt. It will hurt you, and it will hurt her. But because I don't know, exactly, what you're going through, my remove allows me to see what will happen if you _don't._ "

He continued to sit there, in total silence, totally miserable. _"Better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all."_ What idiot made _that_ up? "But for right now," she continued, "we don't have to do anything. So…let's just relax, okay? No reason to borrow tomorrow's trouble."

He breathed a sigh of relief. "I…think I can get behind that idea."

She leaned back on the couch. "So…are you and Carly going out tonight?"

He shook his head. "I don't think so. She said something about having to work late. The webcam show took a little longer this time. But….maybe I'll give her a call in a little bit and see."

Maggie leaned back a bit further, relaxing. She could see, altogether too well, the pain, the heartache, that would be the inevitable result of her nephew's continued relationship with the mortal girl, but it had progressed to the point where even thinking about ending it caused him pain. It would have been so much easier if the whole matter had just never happened in the first place.

But although angels could move through time the way humans walked across a floor, they could not undo what they themselves had done. For that matter, they could not really alter past events (even though, for them, the definition of "past" was not the same as it was for humans, trapped in time as they were, like flies in amber); they could only take action to prevent future events, future lines of negative potential. It was a matter of such complexity that mortals were, for the most part, unable to understand it. But that was part of what made angels _angels._ "I'd still like to meet her. Bring her over here, sometime, why don't you?"

He looked up, just the notion of being with Carly suffusing his whole body with joy. "I'll do that, Aunt Maggie."

…

"Sam?"

"Hm? Yeah, Fredward?"

"Come over here a moment, would you?"

"Can't it wait? Midget wrestling's about to start." Sam was firmly ensconced in her usual spot, in front of the Shay's TV set. She'd long ago figured out the code to unlock their Netflix. They changed it. She figured it out again.  
They changed it again. She figured it out a third time. They finally threw up their hands and said fine.

"This won't take long. And I want your opinion on something."

Sighing, Sam got up, reluctantly relinquishing her plate of fried chicken. She crossed over the room to the table where he was working. "Okay, so I'm here. This better be good."

Freddy Benson had a strange look on his face. "See this?" He pointed to a router box on the table, from which he'd removed the lid.

"Hey, isn't that that router thingy Grif gave Carly? You better not break it, or she'll break _you._ "

"I'm not. But look. See this lead?"

"Yeah…" She followed his pointing finger.

"I got to wondering. This thing's fast. I mean, like _really_ fast. In fact, it's so fast, it shouldn't really be compatible with our system. But it is."

Sam shrugged. "So it's fast. Grif said he repaired it. Maybe he's more of a geek than we thought."

"You haven't seen what I wanted to show you yet. See this inner chamber?"

"Uh huh."

"Watch." And he undid the screws holding the lid of the smaller compartment on. It lifted off to reveal a small, yellowish rhomboid crystal inset into the bottom of the router.

Sam looked on uncomprehendingly. "So what am I supposed to see?"

Freddy pointed with his screwdriver. "Any other router has circuitry in here, all of it linked to ports. The signal goes in _here_ ," he pointed to one side of the box, to a wire leading to it, "and comes out _here_ , reconfigured by the circuitry."

"So where's the circuitry?"

He looked up at her. "There isn't any." He waved his screwdriver in the empty space of the enclosure. "It should be right here. But all that's there is this crystal."

"So what happened to the circuitry?"

He gave her a strange look. "Nothing happened. It was never there in the first place. And, see this crystal? The only thing that could possibly generate the signal? Or anything? What do you see leading to it?"

"Nothing."

"Exactly. These leads don't go anywhere near it. But it works. And, I've even hooked it up, like this, with the cover removed. Guess what? It still works…just the same."

"That's….that's impossible. Isn't it?" Sam wasn't as tech-savvy as Freddy was, but she was smart enough to know what she was looking at.

Freddy shrugged. "Apparently not. I mean, the thing still functions, and, like I said, it's a good deal faster than anything on the market. But how does it work?" He paused, leaned back in the kitchen chair, crossing his arms. "I don't know."

She leaned on the table, looking at him. "Sooo...what exactly are you saying?"

"Right now? Only the obvious. This device functions in a way that completely defies the laws of quantum mechanics, or even just plain _mechanics_ , as we know them. But you are aware of Asimov's Principle, aren't you?"

"Refresh my memory."

He chewed on a knuckle. "Any sufficiently advanced technology….

"…is indistinguishable from magic."

…..

 _I Stand at the small nation's first nuclear power plant. At least, that is what it was promoted as. Even as I Stand there, I see its true purpose: the enrichment of fissionable material sufficient to make a weapons-grade element._

 _The nation's leaders are there, touring the facility, and quietly congratulating themselves on having hidden their true agenda from the world community. By the time the United Nations is aware of their mistake, they reason, it will be far too late, and this small nation will join the ranks of the "nuclear club," gaining the respect—the fear—of other nations, fear which they will exploit for greater economic and political leverage. Their first action—their announcement of their accomplishment, as it were—will be the bombing of several of the major cities of what they perceive as an enemy nation, just a few miles away._

 _And the world community will do nothing. There might be sanctions, but these leaders are prepared to accept that. Their people will bear the burden of such retribution, anyway, since the small nation's wealth is concentrated within the uppermost elite._

 _As is often the case when it is Time, they suddenly see me. A look of startlement crosses their faces, even as their bodyguards reach for their weapons. They are far, far too late. While I do not wish this, they have reached the End of their Time._

 _I raise my hand and Speak._

….

"Wow." Spencer was watching the nightly news. Every channel carried the story of the nuclear blast overseas, at what was supposed to be the isolated nation's first nuclear power station _._ Obviously, it had been a good deal more powerful than anyone had conjectured.

"… _.reports are still coming in, but a United Nations responder team reports that, within a two-mile radius, the devastation was total. However, they are unable to determine what actually caused the blast, especially one of this magnitude, since the facility, from its inception, was designed to be incapable of actually exploding. Government spokesmen are blaming the explosion on a pre-emptive bomb or missile strike, citing the long-standing tensions with their neighbor to the southwest…."_

 _I return home to the apartment. Aunt Maggie is waiting for me. "Aunt Maggie," I ask, imploringly, "will there be many more such events as these? I am starting to feel like a cosmic executioner."_

" _I know, Gryphon, I know. It was the same for me. You can take some comfort in the knowledge that not all your Speaking need be of a lethal nature."_

" _Not of a lethal nature? I just blew up a four-mile area! And, and even if, if the Speaking doesn't necessarily involved destruction, there are always probability effects to consider. Nearby objects—and people—can be turned to, to other substances just by being too close." I sit down abruptly, running my hands through my hair. "I, I wonder if Carly would even have anything to do with me, were she to know."_

 _She comes and sits beside me. "That is another reason why such liaisons, such relationships, as you have with her are so heavily discouraged. What we are called upon to do is of a very serious nature, and many humans cannot understand that—or agree with it. What would Carly's feelings be about what you've done, what you must do?_

" _What if she disagreed with your orders? Do you not see the pain, the heartache, that this would cause?" She pauses. Then, as gently as possible, "You have told me of her friend, Sam. What if you were called upon to Speak against Sam?"_

 _I literally cannot bear the thought. I cry out, and rush into my bedroom, closing the door behind me._

 _But I cannot close the door on the truths I have heard._

…

Sam was busy watching "Bowling for Food" on Carly's Netflix (and not so privately rooting for her team), when Carly came in from grocery shopping. "Give a hand, Sam?"

"Sure." She came over and helped her friend unbag her items. "Heyyyy….cheeses. I didn't know you were into exotic cheeses, Carls."

Carly grimaced, even as she reached up to store some nonperishables. "I didn't use to be. But Grif loves 'em. I guess he's kinda turned me onto 'em."

Sam grinned a naughty grin. "Bet that's not the _only_ thing he's turned you on to."

Carly blushed. Sam so loved to see her friend blush. Her whole face turned red. "Uh, well, that's the kind of comment to which I have no comment."

"C'mon, Carls. You two have been going out for what? Almost a year now? Has he made the first move yet?"

"In the _first_ place," said Carly firmly, "it's only been nine months. And in the _second…_ " She started to say that was none of Sam's business, but she and Sam shared everything. She dropped her gaze. "I-in the second, no, he hasn't."

Sam stared. "In _nine months_ of seeing you, he hasn't made the _first pass?_ Some guys do that on the first _date_! He's not gay, is he?"

" _No._ He's just…I dunno how to describe it, Sam. I can tell he's, you know, _interested,_ but, but….it's almost like _he's_ waiting on _me_ the make the first move."

"So? What are ya waitin' for?"

"Sam!"

"Well, I'm serious. Not the whole nine yards, but, but…you know. _Some_ thing. At least."

"We've kissed!"

"You've never _kissed_ kissed. Go for broke sometime. Lay him out flat on his back with you on top."

Another furious, whole-face blush. "I—I don't think I could do that…."

"If you don't," Sam warned, "some other girl just might. Gotta stake out your territory, girlfriend."

"Some other girl…." Suddenly, Carly was tormented by an image of Griffin in the arms of some strange girl, passionately kissing her. "No, no." This both to Sam's suggestion and to the mental image she'd just conjured up.

They finished putting the groceries away, and Sam came and sat by her on the couch. "Hey, I'm just sayin'….yeah, I don't think, from what I've seen so far, you've got anything to worry about….but that doesn't mean you'll _never_ have. Gotta plan ahead. You want 'im, you gotta go get 'im. Be a go-getter, is all I'm saying."

"I…I'm not sure how I'd _do_ that, Sam."

"Well, I admit, it _is_ kinda on-the-job training, and it's not like I'm some kinda expert, but, but just…go for him, some time. Like some time when the two of you are alone, together, maybe watching a movie or something—at home, of course—just start kissing him an' don't stop. Aaand…if he, y'know, does a little exploration, be okay with that. So long as it doesn't go too far, I mean."

Carly wondered if her blush was permanent. "'A little exploration'? Sam! D'you know what you're _saying_?"

"Oh come on, Carls! It's not like, I mean, you're probably not the first girl he's…well, you know what I mean. That's all I'm saying. Maybe you could even…sorta guide him, you know. That might be best, since you'd be more in control."

"I can't believe," moaned Carly, "that I'm actually sitting here thinking about… _that_ sort of thing."

"Now, Carly. You're practically a grown woman. You know what love eventually leads to, between a man and a woman, don't you? Well, if you can't see that as happening between you and Grif, it probably won't. All I'm saying is take it in stages. Small, comfortable stages."

"A-all right, I'm just…having to get used to that…that mental imagery."

At that exact moment, Spencer came crashing into the apartment. "I got great news! Socko's cousin is coming to Seattle for a visit, and he's interested in new, aspiring artists! Like me! He said he'd take a look at some of my stuff…" He ran on up to his room. Carly wondered if he'd even seen the two of them sitting there.

"Well, he's in a good mood," Sam remarked.

"Yeah," said Carly, morosely.

Sam noticed. "Look, Carls. Don't _worry_ about this; just start out being, you know, maybe a little more _open_ than you have been. Guys pick up on these things. He'll probably notice. But don't go around acting like it's some horrible _task_ you gotta do. In fact, if it's really something you just don't feel comfortable with, don't do it."

Carly mustered up a brave smile. "Thanks, Sam. I'll…I'll give it a try."

 _Sometimes it's fun just to get out and stretch my physical limitations. I've raced bullet trains, flown alongside supersonic fighter jets—much to the consternation of their pilots, and followed deep-diving submarines as they submerge into the aquatic element for which they were designed. In a way, I feel sorry for the humans, who must so often rely upon instruments just to navigate in these environments. If only they could see using their natural senses! But of course, that's a bit silly; the submarines go into an area where human sight is of no use, and the planes fly at speeds frequently beyond the human reaction time._

 _Once I followed a human passenger-carrying balloon, from some festival. It was oddly invigorating. The humans aboard were, of course, unaware of my presence, since I spent most of my visible time perched upon the top of their conveyance where they could not see me. Aunt Maggie tells me they used to regularly employ lighter-than-aircraft for passengers, until some spectacular disasters brought about an end to such means of travel._

 _And sometimes I travel in clouds. It's safe to travel in clouds, if they're thick enough. My Sight can see through them, but human sight, even radar, usually can't._

 _Traveling at night, of course, is by far the best. Then I can see the lights of the city, and, just as important, and to me, even more awe-inspiring, the lines of potential that all humans radiate._

 _Then my cell phone goes off, a familiar ringtone, and I cannot wait to answer it._

…

"Hey, George. Gotta minute?"

"Sure." Dr. Weston was actually about to call it a day when his colleague spoke. "What is it?"

"Take a look." On the table in front of him was a small rectangular, solid state mechanism. "What do you see?" The two researchers for the Department of Homeland Security, and were currently attempting to identify the differing parts of a bomb that had, miraculously, failed to detonate at a nearby convention center. "Miraculous" wasn't too strong a term, either; according to what anyone from the bomb squad to later analysis, had been able to determine, it should have gone off.

The bomb itself had been a "dirty" bomb, an ordinary explosive with radioactive material wrapped around it. The explosion would disperse the radioactives over a wide area, leading to radiation burns and sickness.

This one hadn't done that, and, once the radioactives had been removed, and the explosive separated from the timing mechanism the two researchers had been called in to determine why not. It had already been determined that there was nothing wrong with the explosive…that had been detonated at a remote facility set aside for such…nor was there anything less than deadly about the radioactive elements, a mixture of several highly toxic compounds probably resulting as sludge from some reactor that would most likely never be pinpointed to the point of anyone being able to make a politically supportable accusation. The timer appeared to be the only part of the bomb left to examine, and it was definitely malfunctioning. But it was malfunctioning in a way nobody could really understand. "Okay, what am I supposed to be looking at?"

"What does it look like?"

Shrug. "A standard digital timer. You get 'em for a few bucks at any geek store."

"Except for one thing. This one isn't doing anything."

"Well, _yeah._ If it had been, we'd all be glow-in-the-dark by now."

"No, I mean, it isn't doing _anything._ Here. Take a closer look." He handed the magnifying lens to his colleague.

Who shrugged again. "So? It's frozen. It's defective. I don't see what the problem is."

"Really? Watch." Dr. Phillips took out a hammer out of a drawer and, without any hesitation whatsoever, smashed it down on the timer with all his strength.

"What th'? _You crazy?_ " Weston broke out of his automatic crouch he'd fallen into when the blow fell. "That's destruction of evidence!"

Phillips nodded. "It would be. Except look." Again he motioned to the item on the examination plate.

Weston stared. The plate itself was cracked from the blow…but the cheap timer was undamaged. "Okay. That's not possible."

"But you saw it happen. Didn't you?"

"You…you must've…missed…."

" _Look_ at it! It's driven into the plate! _I didn't miss_." He used a small bar to pry the timer out, picked it up, turned it over and over. "I've done everything I can think of to this thing. I started out trying to get a piece vaporized for a spectrographic analysis—George, I cranked that laser up as high as it would go. Nothing. Didn't even singe it. Didn't even _heat it up._ I've put it in several different types of acids—no reaction. None. I even put it in that little beam chamber we have down the hall…nothing. And although I can't do that much here, I'll almost bet you dollars to donuts that no amount of physical force can harm it."

Weston leaned on the table, his interest aroused at last. "So…what exactly are you saying? It's some new kind of metal? Something…indestructible?" Even as he said it, he could feel goosebumps along his arms and neck. The one thing everyone was terrified of was some group of terrorists, somewhere, getting their hands on some new tech. That was pretty much everybody's nightmare.

And every terrorist's dream.

"No. I don't think so. I think this is an ordinary timer. But something's happened to it. Something that…hell, _I_ don't know. But whatever it was, makes it so…it's unchangeable, somehow. I _know_ how crazy that sounds! But look at the evidence. This timer," he held it up, "is for all intents and purposes indestructible. But I'll bet you it didn't start out that way. But what? What could possibly have happened?" He leaned back on the stool, almost falling off, an expression of concentration on his face.

"You look like you've got an idea."

"Sort of. Not an idea as to how this came about…but maybe an idea what happened." He turned back to Weston. "What's the primary function of a timer? Any timer, anywhere in the world?"

"Is that a trick question?"

"To reflect the passage of _time._ Now suppose, just suppose, that for our little cheap timer here…time stops passing?"

"You're right: that _does_ sound crazy."

"'When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbably, must be the truth.' Tell me if you have a better idea."

Weston picked up the small timer and looked at it speculatively.

 _To be continued..._


	3. Chapter 3: Truth Hurts

iCarly: iMake A Decision

 _I don't own iCarly. Is anyone under the impression that I do?_

… _.._

Chapter 3: Truth Hurts

… _._

 _This is going to hurt._ "Uh, h-hello, Carly. Are-are you ready?" _I'm sure not._

"Yeah, Grif, C'mon in. I just have one last thing to do…" _She is currently bustling about the apartment, putting away the dishes, which, I note with some amusement, mostly consists of empty pizza boxes and disposable paper plates. Well, they work as well as anything. I've seen food served on golden platters; I'm sure it tasted the same._ "So, where we going tonight?"

 _I draw her over to the couch_. "Uhm, Carly? There's something we—we need to talk about."

She literally stops dead in her tracks and stares at me. "Uh oh."

 _I raise my hands, defensively_. "I only would like to, to say something." _I draw a deep breath. Unnecessary, of course, but…_ "Carly, I…have a secret. One I've kept from you ever since we first met. A-and…it's pretty big." _The thunder outside is drawing close, and I know Carly is afraid of thunderstorms. But a mere Earthly thunderstorm is the least of my concerns right now._

 _She comes over and sits by me. I can't help but be reminded of how much she resembles Aunt Maggie, in a way. Both are beautiful…beings_. "Okay. I'm listening."

"First off, I'd like to start by telling you how I feel about you. I love you, Carly Shay. There's no point in mincing words about it. It's the truth. And…telling the truth is one of the things I'm designed for."

"'Designed for'?"

"A poor term, but there really aren't any better ones." _I sit forward, burying my face in my hands_. "The simple truth, Carly, is that I'm…not human." _There. I said it. Aunt Maggie will probably be incensed, but it can't be helped._

 _She's looking at me, tilting her head first one way then the other._ "Grif? Are…are you trying to break up with me?"

 _I sigh_. "Actually, I'm doing everything in my power to  keep from breaking up with you. But…you have to know the truth. And…the truth will set you free."

"So this 'truth' is, you're not a human being? Grif, do you have any idea how _insane_ that sounds?" _She is actually getting angry. I'd not considered this possibility._ "This isn't about the Pee Wee Babies thing is it? I already said I was sorry for that, and that was a long time ago-*"

"No. It has nothing to do with that. That's…over with. As you say, a long time ago. Surely you know me well enough to know I wouldn't try to, to resurrect any sort of old grudge."

"I thought I knew you. But now you're lying to me."

"I'm not lying! In fact, this is the first time I ever revealed the whole truth about me. If you're going to get angry with me, it should be about that, that I didn't confide in you earlier."

"Griffin. You're clearly human. I can touch you, feel you…I've kissed you! How can you say you're not human? What are you trying to pretend to be, a robot or something? Is this an elaborate game to get rid of me?"

 _I shake my head. This isn't going well. How could I have put it better?_ "Carly, I'm not lying to you. I'm not a human being. Nor am I a robot, or alien from outer space, or an evolved jellyfish from beneath the ocean. No, all that would actually be minor by comparison, to the truth."

 _She spoke in a kind of quiet voice, but still angry. I see her stance, hear the anger in her voice, and right then, I would trade Eternity to make it go away_. "And what is the truth, Griffin?"

"I'm an angel."

 _She stands up, moves towards the door._ "Get out! Just…just get out!" _I can hear the sobs in her voice that she doesn't think I hear, but I do. And I would do anything I can think of—even Fall-to take that anger away. Perhaps I could reason with her, explain that all this was to save her from pain._ "Just go! Go on!"

 _Sadly, I see that there is not. And so I leave._

 _Later, I sit alone on the corner of a building in downtown Seattle. I can't go home again, to the apartment. I cry, my tears falling to the streets below. It's beginning to rain, but this rain can never wash away the tears in my heart. I hold up my hands before my face, and the rain drops fall on them both, the right hand and the left, with no difference._

"Well," _says a voice right beside me,_ " _That_ _could certainly have gone better_."

 _Surprised, I turn and look…at myself._

Carly was just finishing up a world-class cry. There was absolutely no joy, no comfort in the world right now. Now…her _former_ boyfriend had, had tried to lie to her to, to break up with her? Couldn't he at least be honest enough to do _that?_ Wasn't he enough of a man to just come right out and say it, for God's sake?

She was sniffling so hard, she almost didn't hear the phone ring. Surprised, she picked it up, checking the caller ID. Unknown number?

She was tempted not to answer it; unknown numbers were usually sales calls or worse. But something told her to press the green button. "H-hello?"

" _Hello. Is this Carly Shay?"_

"Uh, y-yes, it is. Who's-*"

" _I'm Margaret Strider. I'm Griffin's aunt. Is he there?"_

 _Sniff!_ "No. No, he's not, and I don't ever want to hear-*"

" _He told you."_

"He _lied_ to me! He said he was-*"

" _An angel."_

"Y-yes…" How did this woman know what they'd talked about? More specifically, how could she know about Grif's lies? Had the two of them _rehearsed_ them, somehow?

" _Carly, normally, I'd allow you to believe whatever you choose to believe. But this is more important than you know. So I'm breaking my own vows."_

"Look up." Startled by hearing the same voice she'd just been talking to on the phone _in person, in the very room she was in,_ Carly Shay looked up.

The person who'd identified herself as "Margaret Strider" appeared to be a young woman in her early twenties, with long brown wavy hair that fell below her shoulders. She had dark brown eyes, high cheekbones, and a chin that came to a point below a mouth that looked like it was more accustomed to smiling than any other expression. She wore a relaxed outfit, plaid shirt and comfortable looking jeans. The overall effect was of an extraordinarily beautiful young woman, what Spencer would call a "nuclear hot cupcake." "I'm Griffin's Aunt. He calls me Maggie. So may you, if you so desire."

"How—how did you-…?"

Aunt Maggie smiled a little sadly. "Because Griffin wasn't lying to you, Carly. He _is_ an angel. As am I."

Carly began crying afresh. "No, no, this is all some, some elaborate, I dunno, some kind of hoax or something…"

Aunt Maggie came and sat by her on the couch. "Do you believe in angels, Carly?"

Carly thought. "I, I guess I do. I mean…"

"You believe the popular myths about us. The robes, the wings, the peace and love."

"Well…yes…." She found herself making guarded replies. Aunt Maggie was a trifle intimidating. And quite a bit younger than Carly had supposed. Or so she appeared. "How did you get here?"

"We can be wherever we need to be. Right now, I need to be here."

"Er…why?" Carly was wondering. She still didn't believe this drivel about Grif (or Aunt Maggie) as being honest-to-Go*…uhm, _honest to goodness_ angels, but she confessed, she had no idea how this woman could have come here, not only traversing the distance apparently instantly (had she been standing just outside the door?), or…how had she gotten in. But then she remembered, back when they first met, Grif had stolen Spencer's bike. So he knew about locks, etc. No reason why this "Aunt Maggie," if that's who she was (and she had to be the youngest, certainly the most gorgeous aunt Carly had ever seen) wouldn't know a thing or two about them herself. Warily, she eyed the person sitting next to her.

"I've wanted to meet you for some time, but it never seemed to happen. I can see why my nephew was so attracted to you.

"But much as I'd like to just get to know you, I'm afraid there are more serious matters at stake. I gather, from talking to you, that you and he had something of an…argument?"

"An argument? Oh, you mean like when he _lied to me_ , to _break up with me_? Yeah, I guess some people would call that an 'argument'!"

"Why do you think he lied?"

"Oh, come on. An _angel?_ Yeah, sure."

"You just said you believed in us. Why do you believe Gryphon couldn't be one?"

"Because…because…" Something in the back of her mind snagged on the odd, slight mispronunciation of Grif's name.

"Because," continued Maggie, relentlessly, "you've been conditioned to believe such things don't happen. Whether you 'believe' in them or not, they just don't. Thus, there are no such things as UFOs, no Men in Black, no ghosts, no witches, vampires or werewolves…and no angels. Isn't that about right? In short, there is nothing beyond what you can see and understand with your five senses."

"Well…."

"Yet you believe. Or so you say."

Carly turned to the person sitting next to her. "Why are you here? How'd, how'd you get in here, anyway?" A quick check of the door; it was closed tightly, just like she'd slammed it after Grif had left.

Maggie's naturally sunny countenance took on a very somber look. "Because I can't sense him right now. And…from what I can sense, in the cosmological ether…he may be in more danger than he's ever been in."

…..

" _Who are you?" I ask, even though I know the answer._

" _Why are you asking questions you already know the answers to? You know who I am. Also what." My double sits right beside me, there on the ledge of the building, our feet dangling over the edge. The rain continues to pelt us, but, frankly, it feels good to me._

" _You…you're me."_

" _I'm a_ _part_ _of you."_

" _You're a dark version of me."_

" _Dark? I_ _am_ _you. Are you dark?" I look; about all living beings, there are lines of potential, some emanating upward, into Light, and some falling downward, into Darkness._

 _My double's lines are much the same as mine: most radiate upward, into Light. But some few take a downward turn, falling into the ultimate Darkness that has awaited since long before this transient phenomena humans call Creation came into being._

 _It occurs to me that I've never really known fear before._

 _My doppelganger simply looks at me, as if I should understand why this is taking place. And, it occurs to me, perhaps I do. Of course. "You're here….because of her."_

" _Got it in one."_

 _I stand to my feet, quickly. "Leave her alone!" I can feel my wings begin to unfold from my back, as I prepare to do battle for the one I love._

 _My double also stands, a look of innocence on his—on my—face. "Oh,_ _I'm_ _not going to do anything to her. I'm you, remember? And_ _you_ _would Fall into Ultimate Darkness itself rather than hurt her. But what if….what if I told you it was possible? That it was_ _all_ _possible? You and her…together? Her accepting you for what you are? For all Eternity?_

" _Not just for the short human lifetime, the flicker of a candleflame, but Forever?_

" _What if?"_

" _You're lying!"_

" _I'm_ _you_ _. Are you lying to yourself?"_

" _You_ _can't_ _be me. I can't be having this conversation!_ _I_ _don't know any way to, to accomplish what you say, so, so I can't tell myself something I don't know! You can say you're me all you want to, but you're not!"_

 _My double looks at me, his gaze narrowing. "You're afraid."_

" _What?"_

" _Afraid, not of failure, but of success. It's so much simpler to play the tragic hero, doomed to be forever separated from his One True Love…than to take upon yourself the burden—yes, you heard me right, the_ _burden_ _—of actually attempting to make a relationship of this sort work. So it's easier to pretend it's impossible. Isn't it?"_

 _I want to strike out at this lying, conniving…._ _thing_ _in front of me…but I cannot._

 _Because he's right._

 _To be continued…_


	4. Chapter 4: Earth's Angel

iCarly: iMake A Decision

…..

 _Insert standard disclaimer here._

….

Chapter 4: Earth's Angel

….

"Wait. Too, too much is happening. How'd you get _in_ here? And, and why are you keeping on with this-*"

"I don't have time for this," said Maggie. Suddenly, she reached out and placed the tip of her finger on Carly's forehead.

 _And suddenly, Carly knew._

 _She saw the high, unreachable reality the angels came from, saw as much of it as she could understand, and understood there was so very, very much more she couldn't. She understood that Griffin and his aunt were of the Dominions, those hosts of angels charged with regulating the mortal world and those spirits in it. She saw Maggie's and Grif's journey to this world, the one she called home, years before, saw the wonder with which they saw humanity, the Light—and the Darkness. Saw the reality of the angels' everyday life, how they had to blend in with others, lest humans come to worship them as gods…and why that must never be._

 _She saw Grif's attempt to blend in with human society, his theft of Spencer's bike, his collection of "folk art" and of other collections he'd made over the years._

 _She saw the various times he'd done something she found odd, but explained away in some ordinary terms. How inadequate those terms seemed now._

 _The router…technology so far beyond anything humans could understand it may as well be called "magic." Except, of course, it was neither magic or technology._

 _The dirty bomb…his passing his hand over it, and time slowing down almost to a stop for the timer mechanism within…_

… _.and what had happened immediately afterward, what could have happened to the men responsible. She gasped when she saw the power the angels wielded…and the power that could be wielded, when they so chose. The battle he'd fought, with himself, and his own desires for justice versus his desire for vengeance…_

… _And somehow, during all this massive sensory near-overload, she could sense Maggie gently probing her mind, seeking information about where Grif could be, here and now….There. That building, from which they'd admired the view, once. She couldn't sense him, but she_ could _sense a spot where she could sense nothing…_

… _.._

" _You're saying a lot, but not imparting a lot of information," I say. Even as I say it, I realize I'm stalling for time. That thought itself is almost funny. Time? Since when did I need that?_

 _Since I encountered something I'm having a hard time processing, that's when._

 _He nods. "That's as it should be. You need to figure as much of this out for yourself as you can. I can't just take you by the hand and walk you through all the steps. You wouldn't want that, anyway, now would you?"_

" _No…" But I'm cautious. It wouldn't be the first time one of my sort was promised everything he'd ever wanted…in exchange for everything he was._

 _My reflection looks around. "She's here."_

 _I_ _look around. "Carly?"_

" _And Aunt Maggie. Evidently, she used Carly's connection with you to find a spot she herself missed." Even as he spoke, I see the thunderflash as they materialize into the here and now. "Gryphon!" Aunt Maggie turns towards me._

 _I shoot a quick glance at my double, but he seems to be unperturbed. Could it be that Aunt Maggie can't sense him?_

" _Gryphon!" She runs over to me, looking me over with concern. But then, she stops and puts her hands to her mouth, an expression of wide-eyed shock on her face. "No. You've been…contacted."_

 _There's no point in trying to deny it. "Yes, Aunt Maggie. I have." Carly is standing nearby, looking stunned. "G-Griffin?" She's looking at me, but over my shoulder. What is she seeing? Oh, right. The wings._

 _I go over to her, my wings fully unfurled, golden triangles of light springing from my back and shoulder blades. I can sense her fear, not just at the storm outside, but also the storm within. The fear of me, of what she now knows I am. I see the evidence of her tears on her face, and something inside me twists. I wish I could wipe away every single one._

 _Maybe I can._

 _Ever so gently, with the storm and the rain raging around us, I gather her into my arms, wrapping my wings around her protectively. "You don't need to cry, Carly." I hold her head close to my chest. "There's no need to be afraid._

" _Just_ _believe_ _."_

… _.._

 _We stand there a moment. She collects herself, noticing that the rain does not make either Aunt Maggie or myself wet. She herself is soaked, so I take off my jacket and wrap it around her. She stares at my wings, glowing in the darkness, against the stormclouds overhead, her eyes going wide. "Grif? I…you…you…really are…"_

 _I glance over at Aunt Maggie. Just beyond her is my double, also unaffected by the weather. She doesn't appear to see him, or perhaps she's not concentrating on him. She's looking at me, an expression of fear on her face. I've never seen Aunt Maggie afraid, and I know she's not afraid for herself._

 _She is afraid for me._

 _I know what I must do. The only thing I can do. Really, the only thing I could ever do. "Carly?"_

" _Yes?" I can sense her mind is almost shutting down from all the shocks she's received tonight. I bend down and kiss her, and this seems to restore her senses somewhat. She puts her arms around me, and we share a deep, deep kiss._

 _Finally, I look up. Aunt Maggie has been standing there the whole time. Now her face looks to be more sorrowful than before. I hate that; I would never cause my aunt pain or sorrow, but some things are beyond even our control. "Aunt Maggie, I've decided."_

" _I know. But Grif….this is too much of a job for you."_

" _What?" asks Carly, looking from Aunt Maggie to me. "What job?"_

 _I look at her, still there in my embrace, wearing my jacket. "I've decided what my role here on Earth will be, Carly." I turn to Aunt Maggie. "You know there are souls in Darkness, down Below. Many—most—deserve to be there. But some…do not. Some entered into Darkness because of an…imbalance in their lives, one that could have been corrected, had they tried, had they known." I turn to Carly. "Carly, you know about the Darkness from your mental contact with Aunt Maggie, don't you? How there is nothing there, no potential, no Light, no_ _hope?_

" _I will be a conduit to that Light, that hope. Those souls in Darkness, who can be salvaged, I will bring here, to the Earth dimension, to try again. And those souls here, trying, struggling, I will help."_

" _Gryphon…you realize this will result in a reduction of rank for you, do you not?" Aunt Maggie is, as always, pragmatic. "You will no longer be…what you are now. And, and, Gryphon….I cannot help but believe it is simply too big a job for you. Even the Host of the Seraphim do not readily descend into the Darkness."_

" _Wait," says Carly, "you're talking about…going into this awful place, this dark place I saw? Grif, you can't!"_

" _I not only can, I must. I'm the_ _only_ _one of us who can. You see," I say to Aunt Maggie, "that I now have connections to the Darkness. No other angel has those. I can use those…to find the others. It is…." I see my double turning away. He vanishes slowly, but not before giving me a "thumbs up" sign. "It is…my destiny." I know that sounds hopelessly trite, and perhaps a bit arrogant, but it is the only way I know how to put it._

" _This world needs a guardian. I will be that guardian, Earth's angel. The souls in Darkness need liberation. I will be that liberator. Those souls here, seeking the Light…they will need guidance. I will be that guide." I turn her face up to look at me. "Will you stand by me, Carly Shay? You don't have to, and I would totally understand if you decided not to. But it's important, and I must know. Will you accept me? Will you have me?"_

" _Will I have_ _you_ _? Grif, I…I'm only a standard, factory-issued human being. You're an angel! An actual angel! How…how could you possibly see anything in_ _me?_ _And, and, Grif…this is the second time I've driven you off by being stupid! I don't see how you could possibly have_ _me_ _!"_

 _I kiss her. "None of that matters. You know I would. Now, Forever and Always. For all Eternity."_

 _Aunt Maggie approaches us. I'm a little afraid; I don't want her to reject me… "Angel Gryphon, you are determined to do this thing?"_

" _Yes, Aunt Maggie. You have the Sight, the same as I do. You see I never really had a choice in the matter."_

 _Carly looks up at me, suddenly afraid for me. "What's she saying, Grif? What are you doing, really?"_

" _I am becoming, Carly. I am changing. I have chosen to remain here on the Earth, to make it my permanent base of operations, to keep people from turning to the Darkness, and rescue those already there, that is, as much as I can." I smile a little crookedly. "I will be the only partially Fallen angel in existence. My connection with the Darkness will enable me to enter it, and to raid it, so to speak. To glean those souls I can."_

 _She gasps. "Grif…you're gonna_ _Fall_ _?" Her voice squeaks. She knows enough, from her mindlink with Aunt Maggie, about Falling. "Don't! Nothing's worth that! You…you could lose your immortality!"_

 _I hold her close. "I don't really need it, anyway."_

 _Aunt Maggie comes closer. I see the look of love in her eyes as she wraps her arms around us both. "Gryphon…You and I know that things will be…different, now. We can no longer live together; regulations forbid that. And I am sure Jemiah will not be happy about your decision. But one thing I can promise you: no matter what, you will_ _always_ _be my nephew, and I will_ _always_ _love you, and be here for you, in any way I can. And I will also be there for Carly, too. She is a part of you now. Part of_ _us._ _"_

" _Thank you, Aunt Maggie. I shall always love you, too." We're in a kind of group hug, with Carly in the middle, my wings around her, Aunt Maggie's around me._

 _The thunder continues around us. "Hey," says Carly, from within both our embraces. "The storm…"_

" _Oh, right," I say. Too late I remember my love's terrified of thunder. "I'm sorry, Carly. Here, I'll take you home."_

" _It's not that." She stops in amazement, her hands going to her face. "I…I'm not afraid anymore."_

… _._

 _Aunt Maggie steps back a bit, and I think I see a tear coursing down her cheek. Maybe it's just my imagination. "Just remember, Grif, you won't be quite what you have been. You'll have to learn to deal with that."_

" _That's true, Aunt Maggie. But I will have one big advantage. I will have one thing no other angel anywhere can say they have."_

 _Intrigued, she asks, "What's that?"_

 _I turn to Carly, still in my arms. "I will have one of my own."_

 _The End_

"… _all endings are new Beginnings…"_


End file.
